“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” ~Robert Fulghum
Parenting is the toughest, most important job most people will ever encounter. However, there is no license or training required. Unfortunately, the cost of bad parenting is huge. Thankfully, it is very easy for parents to learn the skills of good parenting in addition to all of the pitfalls of bad parenting. All it takes for parents to learn more about parenting is to watch, listen, and learn.
Watching…is a key ingredient in learning more about parenting.
Watch other parents around you and you can learn all sorts of lessons. You will learn how to interact with your child, how to discipline your child, and how to teach your child. Almost everywhere you take your child there will be other parents and their children. When you watch, you must not only observe, but listen. Hear the tone of voice as well as the words those parents use. Some parents use the right words but their tone and physical manner suggests the opposite.
Watch the children and observe their response. Some children respond more positively to their parents.
What is different about that parent-child relationship ?
What can you learn to assist you with your relationship with your own child ?
Please watch the following video from Parenting Advice and Help… By Parenting Coach Dr Randy Cale
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLRzOHZ2bV0[/youtube]
Listen to advice…
You don’t need to take every piece of advice that is offered to you. After all, there are many parents who are free with advice and it is obvious that they are in no position to offer suggestions.However, there is often some really good advice shared by people you know and trust. In addition, you can receive good advice from casual acquaintances. Be a sponge…
Keep your ears and eyes open.
You don’t have to take that advice but keeping your options open gives you the opportunity to decide for yourself what information you can benefit from.
Be an active learner…
Seek out information when you face a parenting challenge. As your child grows older and learns, some of your old parenting or discipline techniques no longer work. Search the internet, browse through parenting books, and ask some experts in your circle of friends. Sometimes great advice will be readily available, but other times you will have to search for that advice. The more proactive you are about finding solutions to your parenting problems then the better parent you will become.
Parenting is a challenging job…there is no job more challenging.
But, the rewards cannot be matched. There are times when parents are forced to take an unpopular stand or make a difficult decision. But, if you are a good parent and develop solid parenting skills, the rewards will far outweigh the challenges. Those rewards include a happy, successful child and a warm, loving relationship that will extend long past childhood and span the rest of your life.
So, do we really need special training to be a good parent ?
If you watch, listen, and learn then you can be the parent you want to be and your child deserves.
Click Here To Download your awesome Personal Reflection Exercises
I hope you got some great value out of this post today! Please leave me a comment down below and let me know what you liked the most.
And don’t forget to share this post with your Twitter and Facebook friends and followers!
I invite you to LIKE my FaceBook Fan Page
To your success,
Marc@monitium.com
Network Marketing Coach
Continuous Learning Advocate
Skype: healthysuccess
(973) 879-1627
Learn The Secrets To Raising Super Kids from Brian Tracy
About Marc Korn
Marc Korn is an advocate of continuous learning. Success online and in the offline world is all about training and learning from the experts.... throughout history the common denominator among successful people has been continuing education.Marc is passionate about Network Marketing and helping others.He has learned that Network Marketing is not about recruit, recruit, recruit or sell, sell, sell...but about people.The most gratifying way to achieve success is to help others become successful first.Marc enjoys introducing people to systems and opportunities that will help them to earn additional income working from home.There is no reason why you need to learn it all by yourself. Join Marc and his Tribe mates to see how they can help you.
A new parent I would say congratulations. Tell them this is a growing experience and take one day at a time.
If for any reason they are having difficultly to be patient and if they continue to have situations, seek advice help what ever it takes. Do not be embarrassed or think it is all your fault.
Every child is different and this is a learning curve. Every day can be a challenge but do not give up.
Hi Marnee,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
That’s very good advice…it is no different than any other endeavor. If you want to be successful, you just have to learn one day at a time, be consistent and keep learning.
Parents….please don’t be afraid to seek advice if it is needed.. if you don’t feel you are equipped to handle certain situations.
To your success,
Marc
Wow! Great post Marc. Parenting is indeed the most challenging job there is, but there’s nothing like it. As a single mom, sometimes I worry that I’m doing it wrong and that I might be messing up my kids for life. But that’s usually a temporary worry because I see the effects of my parenting, sometimes at the most unlikely times. Like when one daughter confessed a wrongdoing even though I’d never have found out.
I can soooo relate to not taking every piece of advice. When I had my first baby all sorts of people appointed themselves as my parenting mentor, but when I looked at the way their kids were brought up I certainly didn’t want my kid to be like theirs! So I learned to nod my head and say yeah, and then ignore their advice.
Hi Hazel-Ann,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
I’m so happy that you enjoyed the post and could relate to it. As a single Mom, you really have to be on your toes, but it sounds like you are doing an incredible job.
That’s great to hear about your one daughter having such character…she obviously takes after her Mom!!
To your continued success,
Marc
Hi Marc,
Well, I can’t say I’m speaking from experience since I don’t have any children yet but I realize that parenting is one of the most important and challenging missions someone can have.
It’s obvious that the child will do exactly what he sees his parents do so they are very responsible for his education. Well, maybe I should read some more on this subject, it’s better to be prepared for everything in life 🙂
Take care,
George Tiganus
Hey George,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
For someone not speaking from experience, you hit on one of the most important roles of a Parent…to set a good example, because the kids will indeed do what the parents do.
I have turned into a night owl running my online business from my Computer and now my son is computer-a-holic with a terrible sleep schedule..
Time to set more limitations…
Being a parent is a full time job and full time responsibility, but I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING!!
To your success,
Marc
This is great advice, not just for parenting. By observing others you can pick up great ways to do things differently that you would not have thought of otherwise. It is amazing to me how we, as human beings, can observe in others what we cannot see in ourselves. It is much easier to be objective when it involves another person. So, by doing so with an open mind (critical!) you can learn a lot. Thanks Marc for the reminder. Very sound advice.
Hi Karin,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
I’m so happy that you found the post to be helpful.
I couldn’t agree more..it is always a great learning experience to observe others. We can learn both the things that we may want to do and also observe things that we know we want to avoid.
As a parent, many times we tend to be too critical and question ourselves. It is always good when observing other parents, so we can gain a better perspective and maybe see that we are really not doing such a terrible job after all and that all Parents go through the same trials and tribulations.
To your continued success,
Marc
Hi Marc ~ I can honestly say that being a parent is the hardest job I’ve ever had ~ Yet, it is also by far my most awarding and would not trade it for anything! That being said, I have been fortunate in that I’ve had excellent role models as parents and the support I’ve always needed to raise my son right. Sure, it’s been challenging at times, yet we’ve always gotten through those tough times, and I am a parent who is glad that I don’t always give in to what my son wants, or what the other parents are letting their kids do. Your statement about children watching you is so true and you have to be constantly aware of this fact, even if you feel they may not be paying attention…because trust me, they are! 🙂 Thanks for sharing! Christine
Hi Christine,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
I agree, being a parent is a constant challenge, but the rewards far outweigh anything I can imagine.
You are very fortunate to have solid role models and support systems…that is a key element.
It’s great that you have set rules for your son…it is scary how many parents don’t and there are just too many things that kids can get involved in that is detrimental.
Like any Leadership role, we always have to lead by example, because you are 150% correct…they are paying attention.
To your massive success,
Marc
Hi Marc. I am at times overwhelmed with the magnitude and responsibility of raising these two little ones I have now. The littlest one has behaviour issues and the most recent advice I was given was to create “anger squiggles”. These anger squiggles are created every time he gets upset about something and his job is to identify them and get rid of them as soon as possible. Sometimes he draws a picture of them leaving his body, sometime he just talks it out and sometimes he has to go and do something very physical to release them. If he doesn’t release them, they can fill his body and then he’ll explode !!
It works wonderfully well as now all I have to ask him is “was that an anger squiggle?” and “how should you get rid of it?” and he is learning to take care of the rest of it himself.
Good advice and great blog Marc.
Joyce
Hi Joyce,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
I love the tip you shared about the “anger squiggles”. That is wonderful that you are seeing positive results from that technique.
It is so important to be able to seek advice from others, whether it is family, friends or Professional.
Raising kids is an ongoing challenge and if other Parents or sources have a possible solution, we as parents are obliged to test the waters and we may find that is is helpful.
Of course, we always have to be discerning and use what works for our situation. But, the key is that as Parents we always have to be “active learners”, because there will ALWAYS be some sort of challenge.
Keep up the great parenting,
Marc
Hi Marc. I wasn’t expecting this post when I came to your site today, but I really enjoyed it. As the mother of one and grandmother of four, my best advice for new parents is: You are your child’s parent, not your child’s friend. Children cry out for discipline. They need order and limits. They feel loved when their parents keep a firm but loving rein on their behavior. It seems it gets harder every generation to be a parent, and I wish all you new parents the best. Love your children and spend time with them. And make music with them. I can help you at http://musicwithmissleslie.com.
Wishing you a song in your heart,
Miss Leslie @ Music with Miss Leslie
Hi Leslie,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
There is much wisdom in your words. I can tell that you have been a firm, loving and devoted parent.
It does get harder every generation as our children are exposed to so much more than we were as kids.
As parents, we have to be so much more aware these days.
This is one of my favorite Brian Tracy quotes and I think it applies to this generation of Parents..
“If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.”
To your continued success,
Marc
Great subject you brought up here, Marc!
I love the diversity of topics you are discussing because under one aspect you can see this as well as a lesson for leadership. A leader who can watch, listen and learn will make much more thoughtful decisions and gain more success with that style. Myself I have two kids and love them to bits… The one outcome I strive for on a daily basis is that I will build such a bond with my kids that I pass on to them values which are upright in our society, give them a guide to a life full of joy and happiness… Once we accomplish that (mainly as a role model) then half of the parenting task is achieved.
Thx again for this topic and I can’t wait what you will dicuss next time.
All the best,
Alex
Hi Alex,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
I am happy that you like the diversity of the topics. I try to focus on Personal Development and almost any topic you choose will have relevance.
It sounds like you have an awesome relationship with your kids and are teaching them strong values, which will serve them well as they grow up.
To your massive success,
Marc
Hey Marc! Love your post! I’ve had stressful jobs, stressful childhood and stressful college days but nothing compares to the challenge of being a parent. You have to be Firm, Fun and Understanding at the same time. It’s tempting to just be myself sometimes and show exactly how I feel with my kids but that would not be best with them. And truly I have learned by listening and watching from other parents as well. at times I feel frustrated but I try to go past that and learn from the experience.
Hi Jans,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
Being a Parent is the most important job any of us could ever have. It is a monumental responsibility and we are faced with constant challenges.
Inevitably, we will make mistakes. We just have to make sure that we learn from those mistakes and seek advice when needed and always strive to do the best we can.
It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job.
To your continued success,
Marc
Hi Marc,
Love this post. I have always said that parenting is THE most difficult “job” and it doesn’t come with a training manual or a list of prerequisites. Even when we think we have it “right” with one child, along comes another that it totally different – time to learn all over again! My oldest daughter was really easy. I remember reading the Right Start Catalog when I only had one child and thinking that some of the items in the catalog were ridiculous! Items to lock toilet seats, front doors, etc. Who on earth would need these? Then my second daughter was born! Then I understood LOL. I “learned” that I had to take the keys to my house when going to the mailbox!
Thanks for sharing your insights on such an important topic!
Hi Julie,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
Parenting IS “the most difficult” job there is and the MOST rewarding.
It is a constant test with constant challenges and at the end of the day, if we can show our kids the love and guidance that they deserve, we will do OK.
My wife and I made many trips to the Right Start and parenthood truly is a continuous learning experience, no matter how many kids you have.
Keep up the great work,
Marc
Great post Marc. Nobody ever claimed parenting was easy. it requires you to lot of patience, perseverance, diligence, hard work and sacrifice. That’s a lot of work to do. 🙂
Hi Jorge,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
You are so right, nobody said it was going to be easy and they were certainly correct 😉
It is a full time job and one that never ends.If it were easy, there wouldn’t be so many books written on the topic!
To your success,
Marc
We have been through the parenting process and I must admit that it was a challenge. We are now seeing our children struggling with the same challenges.
We have tried to point them in the right direction but, isn’t it strange, they do not seem to want to take our advice always.
Maybe it should be a subject on the school curriculum. Maybe they would take a bit more notice of what was taught in school rather from their parents.
Hey Trevor,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
It would be great to include Parenting skills in the School curriculum. It is certainly a proven fact that many kids, regardless of age will listen to other authority figures before they will listen to their parents.
As parents, we can only offer advice to our grown children and hope they will learn from our experiences, but sometimes it is best for them to learn through their own mistakes.
To your continued success,
Marc
I will never forget the feeling of awe, bordering on panic, when they laid my firstborn in my arms. The intensity of the birth was over, and I was back in my room. I was alone with my baby girl. And it hit me… Her father and I were solely responsible for the upbringing of this little person… and she was fully dependent on us for everything she needed. My life would never be the same again!
Several years later I scolded my 15-month old son for splattering his mashed potatoes all over himself and his high chair… and then stopped myself as the revelation hit me. He was being naughty… he was only copying ME and my tendency to mash a small portion with my fork before eating it.
But it took till my 7th toddler before I realized that not every temper tantrum is strictly a disciplinary issue. Sometimes it’s because I haven’t made sure the child was getting enough sleep. Or, as in the case of my teens, sometimes they are dealing with internal struggles far beyond my understanding, and they don’t mean to act the way they do.
One of my sons has struggled more than the others over the death of our oldest son just over a year ago. I’m so glad that I HAVE been practising the principles in this video for many years… and I was able to see that there was something more to Timothy’s tension and anger than met the eye. Had I treated it as a discipline problem, it would not have helped him at all. As it was, I knew we had a 16-year-old who had a tender heart toward God and toward his parents and siblings. I wasn’t about to mess with that by coming down hard on him. Today, a year later, he still has anger issues, but he is a wonderful young man and a joy to have around.
Willena Flewelling
Hi Willena,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss…no parent should ever have to go through that. It is very brave of you to share this with my readers.
You certainly have a tremendous amount of experience as a Parent and you seem to have mastered the fine art of knowing when to discipline and when to take a step back.
Certainly, no 2 children are alike in all ways and you have to deal with many different personalities and at this point, you can probably write your own book on Parenting skills.
To your continued success,
Marc
Hi Marc,
Thank you for this article and video. This is really great stuff! The three tips, listening for feelings, positive communication, and develop family rules and consequences are great ways to help us as parents keep the positive flow through the family.
The greatest accomplishment in my life is raising my two beautiful daughters. I love being a mother, and yes parenting is the most challenging job anyone can face. Our fast paced, hi tech society doesn’t make it easier. Our children are in overdrive with everything that bombards them daily. Unfortunately that includes negative experiences. Throwing in as much positive as possible helps a lot!
My oldest daughter is 22 attending college, and my youngest will be graduation from high school in June. It isn’t as if my parenting is done, I will always be their mom, but I want to share a story that this article triggered. I have a stepson who I raised from the age of 13 through marriage. Parenting is tough enough so when you have to learn to “parent” a child that isn’t your child is a completely different situation.
All of a sudden, I’m a new step-mom with a 13 year old boy. I had to get into the “educate yourself about being a step-parent mode.” At that time I had not had a child of my own so I had no clue of what was entailed in raising children!
I was desperate to do the best job I could with a boy that had the highest truancy record in the history of his elementary school! I read and learned everything I could. I took action with all of tips and suggestions, for example I made a “B’s Bored Box” which was a solution to hearing the words, “I’m bored!” I came across a parenting book called, “The Parents Survival Guide.” I will never forget that book! It was a life saver. Eventually, I was able to create a relationship with him which allowed us to bond as the years passed. He is now 38 years old and both of us got through some struggling times! He sees me as his “real” mom:)
I am living proof that parenting resources are absolutely vital for survival. Thanks Marc. Congratulations in TSA this past week!
Here’s to Happy families!
Raena Lynn
Hi Raena,
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your comment…it is greatly appreciated.
What a great story about your step-son, I’m so happy that you were able to share that story. I am also happy to hear that you had such a vital resource when you needed it.
But, it is obvious that despite all of the early struggles… you became a wonderfully supportive and nurturing Mom and have 2 wonderful daughters and a step-son that you can be very proud of.
The most important job for any Parent and the greatest source of pleasure and satisfaction is to be able to raise a happy, healthy and self-confident child.
But, as you stated, our job and responsibility as a Parent is never done. Even though we don’t have as much control as our kids get older, we will always want to protect them and do what we can to make sure they have the best possible life.
Hopefully, we raise our kids with the right values and can set them on the path to happiness and success.
To your continued success,
Marc
Hello Mark:
Thank you for this excellent post on raising children. It is so true kids watch what we do more than they listen to us, Our actions always speak the loudest. In our home we are now blessed to be on the 2nd go round with children,,,as we are raising our 3 & 6 year old granddaughters,,,, we have seemed to learn some patience & Listening skills that we did not have as much of with our son & daughter, However we are more tired then when we were younger,,,we are learning to work with them in ‘smarter ways’ instead of harder ways…if you know what I mean:-)
Matt
HI Marc,
I enjoyed this post. As a parent of an active 5 year old, we are learning as we go. The tip about being more observant of other parents is a great one.
We are at the stage of setting boundaries, so it is a very interesting time. Still, our daughter is a great kid, and we seem to be doing pretty well so far.
I have taken on board your advice.
Marc,
Parenting is definitely not easy (a mother of twins). That being said it is so rewarding. There is no real lesson in parenting but watching is key. My sister and I for example parent in 2 entirely different ways. She’s not a bad mom, neither am I. I see other parents whom discipline the way I do and others the way she does. The best advice I received was from my doc’s receptionist. The twins were a week old I was EXHAUSTED, she looked at me and told me I would hear lots of advice, take in what I wanted and let the rest go in one ear and out the other. This is true. Great post 🙂